I was married for 10 years, the last year of which I've been separated. Wow, that seems like a crazy long time. As with any established routine of any tenure, you find yourself falling into ruts and doing things the way that you do them, not due to any good reason or desire, but just because that's the way you do it. Do you know what I mean? Sure you do. We all fall prey to this to some degree and marriage very common venue for falling into such ruts.
For better or worse, South Carolina has a law requiring a separation of 365 days before even being able to file for divorce, after which you have to wait on a court date to make it all happen. It's a pretty drawn out process, which for a while seems as if it will go on forever. At first I wished that I lived in a place with a lesser required term, but now that it's been a year I think the time frame was very beneficial. That's not to say that I'd have not enjoyed a shorter wait, but during the last year I have found myself more so than I had in quite some time. Those ruts that we often find ourselves falling into no longer exist. It's time to delve into new territory and establish new expectations and routines... and yes, possibly fall into new ruts! lol. Seriously though, if I am creating new ruts, they are the paths that I've chosen after having been given the actual choice of what I want and that fact is both empowering and quite refreshing.
Next week we formally file. We still get along wonderfully and the kids are doing great. We are both very happy and want the best for not only ourselves but also one another. As strange as it sounds to say so, when you take everything into consideration, it really is a great situation. So often we hear of horror stories about divorce; it doesn't have to be that way and the proof rest in what I'm living. I'm extremely proud of the way we've handled everything up to this point, I have all indications that the future will continue to be extremely positive, and after one year of finding myself I am completely ready for a fresh start!
