As I look back on the recent years of my life, much has changed. There have been fun times, sad times, good times, and bad times, all the while I've been building myself and my life story. So much has happened and to be completely honest, I'm thankful for every bit of it. All of my experiences, both positive and negative have made me a stronger me, a more confident me, a happier me, and truly a more complete better me. This spills into every aspect of my life; as an employee, as a father, as a son, as a boyfriend, as a man.
2010 was the year my life really changed; all that previously was would no longer be and a scary new future loomed ahead. Not scary in that bad things would happen, but scary because change always presents things you aren't prepared for and in this case my changes were to be confronted alone. Although I welcomed all that was to come, it was a true departure from the past. The paths that I had previously trod as part of team, I began to walk alone. This was true from a professional standpoint, as I transitioned from a large department with many peers to a new department in a new job in a position that was just created... with no peers at all. It was also true from a personal perspective, as I ventured out a single man after 10 years of marriage; where I once had a partner, I found myself on my own. Mentally, socially, professionally, spiritually, in every shape and form things would be different from this point forward.
2011 was the year (and at the moment is still the year) that all the wheels were put in motion. I began that trek toward some destination unknown. The scary time had passed months before and a new beginning was upon me. There was an opportunity in front of me and I had to make a decision: stay the course or realign; considering that previously I really didn't have a course, that I just tended to go with the flow, I felt it was best to realign (or better yet, align for the first time), decide what things are important to me and make those my priorities. What I found is there are a number of important aspects of my life. On the most basic level, what matters most to me is deeply rooted in the health, safety and happiness of my children as well as myself. In addition, I had some lacking parts of my life that needed some work. I was neither socially fulfilled, nor financially stable. Surely this is no big surprise; at the collapse of a marriage one finds oneself in a new social atmosphere and typically in poor financial standing... and I was no exception. All this being said, , I wanted to ensure that I put my sons and I in a good financial environment, a good social environment, and I wanted to ensure that the people we surround ourselves from this point forward are good, positive, caring people.
As 2012 approaches, I can't help but be excited. My life and the lives of my children are what I would call "in order". Jackson and Alex are both doing well in school; they are not only involved in athletics but also really excelling to a greater extent than I'd have imagined; they're healthy and all-around doing great. They are happy, wonderful kids and I'm so proud to be their father. I personally find myself moving in very positive direction financially; my career is joy and very fulfilling; I have a great base of positive friends that I love spending time with; my boys are a constant blessing; my parents and brother are pillars of light in my life as they always have been; I'm involved with an amazing woman who cares about me and my happiness more so than anyone I've ever been with; likewise I love her and want to make sure she and her kids are as happy as they've ever been. Jackson and Alex really like her and her kids are their best friends. I couldn't have written a better script leading into the new year. I know this is no fairy tale and life often throws curve-balls our way when we least expect them, but all-in-all 2012 is stacking up to the greatest year of my life. I can't wait to see what the future brings.
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Monday, November 1, 2010
A Fresh Start
I was married for 10 years, the last year of which I've been separated. Wow, that seems like a crazy long time. As with any established routine of any tenure, you find yourself falling into ruts and doing things the way that you do them, not due to any good reason or desire, but just because that's the way you do it. Do you know what I mean? Sure you do. We all fall prey to this to some degree and marriage very common venue for falling into such ruts.
For better or worse, South Carolina has a law requiring a separation of 365 days before even being able to file for divorce, after which you have to wait on a court date to make it all happen. It's a pretty drawn out process, which for a while seems as if it will go on forever. At first I wished that I lived in a place with a lesser required term, but now that it's been a year I think the time frame was very beneficial. That's not to say that I'd have not enjoyed a shorter wait, but during the last year I have found myself more so than I had in quite some time. Those ruts that we often find ourselves falling into no longer exist. It's time to delve into new territory and establish new expectations and routines... and yes, possibly fall into new ruts! lol. Seriously though, if I am creating new ruts, they are the paths that I've chosen after having been given the actual choice of what I want and that fact is both empowering and quite refreshing.
Next week we formally file. We still get along wonderfully and the kids are doing great. We are both very happy and want the best for not only ourselves but also one another. As strange as it sounds to say so, when you take everything into consideration, it really is a great situation. So often we hear of horror stories about divorce; it doesn't have to be that way and the proof rest in what I'm living. I'm extremely proud of the way we've handled everything up to this point, I have all indications that the future will continue to be extremely positive, and after one year of finding myself I am completely ready for a fresh start!
For better or worse, South Carolina has a law requiring a separation of 365 days before even being able to file for divorce, after which you have to wait on a court date to make it all happen. It's a pretty drawn out process, which for a while seems as if it will go on forever. At first I wished that I lived in a place with a lesser required term, but now that it's been a year I think the time frame was very beneficial. That's not to say that I'd have not enjoyed a shorter wait, but during the last year I have found myself more so than I had in quite some time. Those ruts that we often find ourselves falling into no longer exist. It's time to delve into new territory and establish new expectations and routines... and yes, possibly fall into new ruts! lol. Seriously though, if I am creating new ruts, they are the paths that I've chosen after having been given the actual choice of what I want and that fact is both empowering and quite refreshing.
Next week we formally file. We still get along wonderfully and the kids are doing great. We are both very happy and want the best for not only ourselves but also one another. As strange as it sounds to say so, when you take everything into consideration, it really is a great situation. So often we hear of horror stories about divorce; it doesn't have to be that way and the proof rest in what I'm living. I'm extremely proud of the way we've handled everything up to this point, I have all indications that the future will continue to be extremely positive, and after one year of finding myself I am completely ready for a fresh start!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Good, Better, Best
I am not unlike many people when the new year rolls around.
I, too, want to get my act together.
I, too, want to achieve the things that I have long desired.
I, too, am inspired by the seemingly fresh start that the calendar rollover to a new year provides.
Granted January 1st is not all that different than December 31st was. Well, except for maybe that hangover from a little too much partying on New Year's Eve! The dawn of new year is symbolic, but it seems like most of us jump on that symbolism and make it more by believing that it is. Our belief in it, really do make it a fresh start. Diet programs, workout regimens, work pursuits, and even social goals all reset and every new day is a step closer to what you are driven to achieve.
Of course, we all know the status quo. We jump head over heals into our New Year's resolutions and make real progress... for a few weeks. After that, the flame of burning desire to better ourselves begins to fade. Fast food starts creeping back in the diet, the gyms get a little emptier, and the same ruts at work that you fell into in the later part of the previous year start tripping you up yet again. Hey, that's life, right? We get excited about something, we devote ourselves to it, and then we lose the drive. Before long it is nothing more than something we laugh off, "yeah, look at me now. Better luck next year! hahah". Why must it be this way?
2010 doesn't have to be like every other year. It doesn't have to follow the same script. For me 2010 is a new beginning in many ways and I started on 2010's journeys long before 2009 was ever over. I started laying the groundwork for the future well before the new year and because of that, I feel better about my direction, about my drive, and I guess you could about my New Year's resolutions. Although I do not actually set New Year's resolutions, having something to strive for when January first rolls around basically defaults into that being a resolution, doesn't it?
I am so excited about this year and I'll tell you why. Yes, this is the part where I talk about myself, but who doesn't like to talk about himself? haha. Okay, I'll keep this part short. Just two topics:
(1) I've mentioned before that I'm learning so much professionally and coming into my own. Before long I will no longer feel new to this position. For now I still feel like a newbie and that's ok, because... well, I am, but I know what I'm working toward.
(2) In addition, the groundwork that I began to lay down at the end of last year physically is beginning to come to fruition. I am arguably in the best shape of my adult life and have my sights on achieving so much more.
Those are just two aspects of my life that I'm working on. As I approached the new year I told myself that there comes a time when you have to decide whether you want to be good and many things or dedicate yourself to becoming great at one or more of them. I chose the later.
2010 offers that symbolic fresh start. What that means for me is a directed pursuit of something more. Pursuits/goals that deserve my devotion will receive it, and receive it completely. Put concisely, concerning things that are important mediocrity is not an option.
As I was writing this, I had a thought. It was a totally random thought that came out of left field. What struck me was a memory from high school; actually from my high school graduation from Ninetysix High School in 1995. One of the graduates read a short poem as part of what they had to say during the ceremony. That poem, which I could not find the author of, is quite appropriate for this topic and provides another very generic way to restate my goals for 2010:
To all my friends, don't forget that you get what you truly work for and may 2010 bring you all that you want and deserve!
I, too, want to get my act together.
I, too, want to achieve the things that I have long desired.
I, too, am inspired by the seemingly fresh start that the calendar rollover to a new year provides.
Granted January 1st is not all that different than December 31st was. Well, except for maybe that hangover from a little too much partying on New Year's Eve! The dawn of new year is symbolic, but it seems like most of us jump on that symbolism and make it more by believing that it is. Our belief in it, really do make it a fresh start. Diet programs, workout regimens, work pursuits, and even social goals all reset and every new day is a step closer to what you are driven to achieve.
Of course, we all know the status quo. We jump head over heals into our New Year's resolutions and make real progress... for a few weeks. After that, the flame of burning desire to better ourselves begins to fade. Fast food starts creeping back in the diet, the gyms get a little emptier, and the same ruts at work that you fell into in the later part of the previous year start tripping you up yet again. Hey, that's life, right? We get excited about something, we devote ourselves to it, and then we lose the drive. Before long it is nothing more than something we laugh off, "yeah, look at me now. Better luck next year! hahah". Why must it be this way?
2010 doesn't have to be like every other year. It doesn't have to follow the same script. For me 2010 is a new beginning in many ways and I started on 2010's journeys long before 2009 was ever over. I started laying the groundwork for the future well before the new year and because of that, I feel better about my direction, about my drive, and I guess you could about my New Year's resolutions. Although I do not actually set New Year's resolutions, having something to strive for when January first rolls around basically defaults into that being a resolution, doesn't it?
I am so excited about this year and I'll tell you why. Yes, this is the part where I talk about myself, but who doesn't like to talk about himself? haha. Okay, I'll keep this part short. Just two topics:
(1) I've mentioned before that I'm learning so much professionally and coming into my own. Before long I will no longer feel new to this position. For now I still feel like a newbie and that's ok, because... well, I am, but I know what I'm working toward.
(2) In addition, the groundwork that I began to lay down at the end of last year physically is beginning to come to fruition. I am arguably in the best shape of my adult life and have my sights on achieving so much more.
Those are just two aspects of my life that I'm working on. As I approached the new year I told myself that there comes a time when you have to decide whether you want to be good and many things or dedicate yourself to becoming great at one or more of them. I chose the later.
2010 offers that symbolic fresh start. What that means for me is a directed pursuit of something more. Pursuits/goals that deserve my devotion will receive it, and receive it completely. Put concisely, concerning things that are important mediocrity is not an option.
As I was writing this, I had a thought. It was a totally random thought that came out of left field. What struck me was a memory from high school; actually from my high school graduation from Ninetysix High School in 1995. One of the graduates read a short poem as part of what they had to say during the ceremony. That poem, which I could not find the author of, is quite appropriate for this topic and provides another very generic way to restate my goals for 2010:
Good, Better, Best
Never let it rest
Until the Good is Better
And the Better is the Best.
To all my friends, don't forget that you get what you truly work for and may 2010 bring you all that you want and deserve!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Life is Good!
This was quite a weekend. A few random things:
I finally took down my Christmas tree. I know, I know. What a slacker for waiting three weeks after Christmas to do so! My kids suggested that we just leave it up until next year... uh, no.
Some of us attended the World Beer Festival in Columbia on Saturday. I had previously heard about how much fun that event tends to be, and I was not disappointed after making my first appearance this weekend. Not only did I fully enjoy myself, but I will definitely be attending this every year!
Working out is going very well. I still have something pulled in my left pec, however I can do many other exercises to avoid that muscle and still make huge gains, and that is exactly what I've been doing. Also, my running is going very well. I just started week two of an 11 week training schedule in preparation for this year's Bridge Run and I'm feeling great!
Also, right now I'm amidst a long weekend. Jackson and Alex are of school today for Martin Luther King Day, so I took the day off to spend time with them. We've enjoyed the day thus far playing basketball at home, hitting the gym, and lunch at Chick-fil-A. Now is trampoline time and later this afternoon will either include bowling or Edventure. hmmmm, which to choose...
Last but not least, I'm riding pretty high right now due to my personal life. Since it really is personal, that is all I'll say about this issue right now, but it will suffice to say that I am extremely happy. More so than I have been in a while. Like the title says, Life is Good!
I finally took down my Christmas tree. I know, I know. What a slacker for waiting three weeks after Christmas to do so! My kids suggested that we just leave it up until next year... uh, no.
Some of us attended the World Beer Festival in Columbia on Saturday. I had previously heard about how much fun that event tends to be, and I was not disappointed after making my first appearance this weekend. Not only did I fully enjoy myself, but I will definitely be attending this every year!
Working out is going very well. I still have something pulled in my left pec, however I can do many other exercises to avoid that muscle and still make huge gains, and that is exactly what I've been doing. Also, my running is going very well. I just started week two of an 11 week training schedule in preparation for this year's Bridge Run and I'm feeling great!
Also, right now I'm amidst a long weekend. Jackson and Alex are of school today for Martin Luther King Day, so I took the day off to spend time with them. We've enjoyed the day thus far playing basketball at home, hitting the gym, and lunch at Chick-fil-A. Now is trampoline time and later this afternoon will either include bowling or Edventure. hmmmm, which to choose...
Last but not least, I'm riding pretty high right now due to my personal life. Since it really is personal, that is all I'll say about this issue right now, but it will suffice to say that I am extremely happy. More so than I have been in a while. Like the title says, Life is Good!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Making the Turn
2009 was an interesting year for sure. Lots of changes for me, especially near the end of the year. I wont delve into all of the changes, but I really feel that I'm "making the turn". In what way? The answer is that there are many ways; socially, emotionally, athletically, and even professionally just to name a few.
Just to go into a few aspects of change:
I couldn't be more happy with where I am in my life right now. Of course some things are still working themselves out with my separation, but now that it's said and done, we're both happy with the results and we're able to be ourselves more now than we have in a long time.
Professionally, I'm learning so much and starting to feel pretty good about my new position. Not that I didn't feel good before, but my excitement over my job previously were based on how I thought I'd like it. Now it's due to me actually doing my job. Still lots of learning, but I'm also enjoying the actual position.
Athletically, I'm in a wonderful place right now. I'm working out a lot. I'm playing basketball once a week. I'm running. In addition to what I'm doing now, the cumlative effects of what I've been doing is really what I'm excited about. I really feel that in the last six months I've transitioned from an ex-athlete trying to stay in shape into an athlete again. That is teh epiphany that I had earlier today and that was what originally gave me the inspiration for this little post.
I'm in a very good place right now and yes, I'm making the turn!
Just to go into a few aspects of change:
I couldn't be more happy with where I am in my life right now. Of course some things are still working themselves out with my separation, but now that it's said and done, we're both happy with the results and we're able to be ourselves more now than we have in a long time.
Professionally, I'm learning so much and starting to feel pretty good about my new position. Not that I didn't feel good before, but my excitement over my job previously were based on how I thought I'd like it. Now it's due to me actually doing my job. Still lots of learning, but I'm also enjoying the actual position.
Athletically, I'm in a wonderful place right now. I'm working out a lot. I'm playing basketball once a week. I'm running. In addition to what I'm doing now, the cumlative effects of what I've been doing is really what I'm excited about. I really feel that in the last six months I've transitioned from an ex-athlete trying to stay in shape into an athlete again. That is teh epiphany that I had earlier today and that was what originally gave me the inspiration for this little post.
I'm in a very good place right now and yes, I'm making the turn!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Chillin at Home
After a week of running around with the boys, it's nice to sit at home for a while. Stacy is home from her travels. We've done what needed to be done this weekend. Jackson had his first basketball game yesterday (more on that in another post), we had breakfast at IHOP this morning, finished the outdoor Christmas decorating, and the rest of today is the time to veg out on the couch and watch football. Ah.... relaxing....
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Happiness
In the midst of an unpleasant economic situation, I find myself somehow unaffected by it. Well, that is not entirely true; my 401K is feeling. However I remain optimistic. I think that whomever earns the presidency will help ensure that the bailout money is used well, and that the country is moving the right direction.
Anyway, I remain optimistic and in general quite happy.
Why am I happy?
- I get to sit at home and watch football all weekend, with my biggest concern being whether or not a given game is broadcast in HD.
- I have a wonderful family.
- my kids are awesome.
- Jackson is really catching on to this thing called school. In preschool he wasn't in to reading and such, but as a first grader he is driven and doing very well.
- Alex, who was a sickly premature baby, is NOW a strong kids who turns 5 years old tomorrow. It is hard to believe he is the same child who spent the first days of his life with his head under oxygen in a contraption that looked like a casserole dish over his head. He is now strong and healthy and happy!
- I have a happy strong marriage with a wonderful wife.
- I'm getting better at golf.
- I am regaining my drive in athletics. Stacy and I have started doing road races and I'm loving it. I'm in shape and constantly improving.
- I have a good job. Perhaps this is part of the reason the economy is not making me worry too much. I have what feel to be a secure position and am happy to be with Southeastern Freight Lines. I'm also optimistic about our company's future.
What would make me more happy?
- If my kids continue to excel.
- If Stacy and I continue to do well at Southeastern.
- If my high school (Ninetysix), which my brother coaches for, continues it's good run and wins the state championship.
- If Furman continues it's good season and makes the playoffs.
- If I won the lottery. :-)
- If a friend won the lottery and decided that I was such a good friend that he/she felt i deserved to retire too. :-)
- If I continue to get better at golf.
- If I get to play golf more frequently.
- If Barack Obama continues to soar and wins the presidency.
- If our economy makes a permanent turn for the better.
- Did I mention the lottery?
Anyway, I remain optimistic and in general quite happy.
Why am I happy?
- I get to sit at home and watch football all weekend, with my biggest concern being whether or not a given game is broadcast in HD.
- I have a wonderful family.
- my kids are awesome.
- Jackson is really catching on to this thing called school. In preschool he wasn't in to reading and such, but as a first grader he is driven and doing very well.
- Alex, who was a sickly premature baby, is NOW a strong kids who turns 5 years old tomorrow. It is hard to believe he is the same child who spent the first days of his life with his head under oxygen in a contraption that looked like a casserole dish over his head. He is now strong and healthy and happy!
- I have a happy strong marriage with a wonderful wife.
- I'm getting better at golf.
- I am regaining my drive in athletics. Stacy and I have started doing road races and I'm loving it. I'm in shape and constantly improving.
- I have a good job. Perhaps this is part of the reason the economy is not making me worry too much. I have what feel to be a secure position and am happy to be with Southeastern Freight Lines. I'm also optimistic about our company's future.
What would make me more happy?
- If my kids continue to excel.
- If Stacy and I continue to do well at Southeastern.
- If my high school (Ninetysix), which my brother coaches for, continues it's good run and wins the state championship.
- If Furman continues it's good season and makes the playoffs.
- If I won the lottery. :-)
- If a friend won the lottery and decided that I was such a good friend that he/she felt i deserved to retire too. :-)
- If I continue to get better at golf.
- If I get to play golf more frequently.
- If Barack Obama continues to soar and wins the presidency.
- If our economy makes a permanent turn for the better.
- Did I mention the lottery?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)