As I look back on the recent years of my life, much has changed. There have been fun times, sad times, good times, and bad times, all the while I've been building myself and my life story. So much has happened and to be completely honest, I'm thankful for every bit of it. All of my experiences, both positive and negative have made me a stronger me, a more confident me, a happier me, and truly a more complete better me. This spills into every aspect of my life; as an employee, as a father, as a son, as a boyfriend, as a man.
2010 was the year my life really changed; all that previously was would no longer be and a scary new future loomed ahead. Not scary in that bad things would happen, but scary because change always presents things you aren't prepared for and in this case my changes were to be confronted alone. Although I welcomed all that was to come, it was a true departure from the past. The paths that I had previously trod as part of team, I began to walk alone. This was true from a professional standpoint, as I transitioned from a large department with many peers to a new department in a new job in a position that was just created... with no peers at all. It was also true from a personal perspective, as I ventured out a single man after 10 years of marriage; where I once had a partner, I found myself on my own. Mentally, socially, professionally, spiritually, in every shape and form things would be different from this point forward.
2011 was the year (and at the moment is still the year) that all the wheels were put in motion. I began that trek toward some destination unknown. The scary time had passed months before and a new beginning was upon me. There was an opportunity in front of me and I had to make a decision: stay the course or realign; considering that previously I really didn't have a course, that I just tended to go with the flow, I felt it was best to realign (or better yet, align for the first time), decide what things are important to me and make those my priorities. What I found is there are a number of important aspects of my life. On the most basic level, what matters most to me is deeply rooted in the health, safety and happiness of my children as well as myself. In addition, I had some lacking parts of my life that needed some work. I was neither socially fulfilled, nor financially stable. Surely this is no big surprise; at the collapse of a marriage one finds oneself in a new social atmosphere and typically in poor financial standing... and I was no exception. All this being said, , I wanted to ensure that I put my sons and I in a good financial environment, a good social environment, and I wanted to ensure that the people we surround ourselves from this point forward are good, positive, caring people.
As 2012 approaches, I can't help but be excited. My life and the lives of my children are what I would call "in order". Jackson and Alex are both doing well in school; they are not only involved in athletics but also really excelling to a greater extent than I'd have imagined; they're healthy and all-around doing great. They are happy, wonderful kids and I'm so proud to be their father. I personally find myself moving in very positive direction financially; my career is joy and very fulfilling; I have a great base of positive friends that I love spending time with; my boys are a constant blessing; my parents and brother are pillars of light in my life as they always have been; I'm involved with an amazing woman who cares about me and my happiness more so than anyone I've ever been with; likewise I love her and want to make sure she and her kids are as happy as they've ever been. Jackson and Alex really like her and her kids are their best friends. I couldn't have written a better script leading into the new year. I know this is no fairy tale and life often throws curve-balls our way when we least expect them, but all-in-all 2012 is stacking up to the greatest year of my life. I can't wait to see what the future brings.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Aspirations
We all have aspirations, things which we wish to accomplish yet often times are more pipe dreams than anything. What are your true aspirations? What do you really want?
When I think about what I want, I can make quite the list, but do I need to? Do I really have that large of a list? Last night I stepped back to think about what I really want and although the meaning of this is deep and can be applied in many different ways, it's very simple: I aspire to be one whom positively inspires.
Inspire others by the way you live your life, with your outlook, with your success, with your handling of failure, with all things in life. Whether generally applied to professional life, to role as a parent, to role as a friend, aspire to inspire.
When I think about what I want, I can make quite the list, but do I need to? Do I really have that large of a list? Last night I stepped back to think about what I really want and although the meaning of this is deep and can be applied in many different ways, it's very simple: I aspire to be one whom positively inspires.
Inspire others by the way you live your life, with your outlook, with your success, with your handling of failure, with all things in life. Whether generally applied to professional life, to role as a parent, to role as a friend, aspire to inspire.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
HOLY SHHHHHH......
So last week was our family vacation. The boys and I joined Laura, Matthew and my parents for 5 days in North Myrtle. Nila and her boys even joined us for a day. It was really a great vacation; great weather, tons of amazing food, not one person left sun-burned, and it was a true vacation; no work and all play!
I actually did bring a book along to fill the time as the boys played on the beach, but didn't crack it even once... not even to read a single sentence. Why? Because I played hard with the boys every minute of the day. We played in the pool, played corn hole and football on the beach, as well as the golf ball game that we've come to enjoy that is similar to corn hole but there are no boards, there are just two holes in the sand which you attempt to roll golf balls into from about 10-12 feet away. Sounds easy, right? Think again. Corn hole is MUCH easier.
Two of the highlights of the trip were very simple.
First was a great new toy that we played with more than even the corn hole set. What was it? The Wave Runner Ball! This thing was awesome. It's just a simple ball about the size of a racquet ball that feels like mushy rubber. The crazy thing is that it's consistency allows it to do what other balls can't; it skips on top of the water. It was the coolest thing. You can throw it as if skipping a rock or even like throwing a baseball; just be warned that it bounces crazier than a a baseball off of the ground... especially when it hits waves! Try one out! Oh, the Wave Runner comes in at least two varieties: the beach ball and the pool ball. We tried both however the beach ball was the better of the two.
The second thing was hilarious. I don't even remember what we were doing; possibly a board game in the room. Anyway, something was said to which Alex in a long drawn out way said HOOOOLLLLYYY SHHHHH..... he held the SHHH for a while and the expression culminated with HOOOOLLLLYYY SHHHHHRIMP! We all looked at one another and tried to hold back but ultimately busted out laughing. It was hilarious.
I actually did bring a book along to fill the time as the boys played on the beach, but didn't crack it even once... not even to read a single sentence. Why? Because I played hard with the boys every minute of the day. We played in the pool, played corn hole and football on the beach, as well as the golf ball game that we've come to enjoy that is similar to corn hole but there are no boards, there are just two holes in the sand which you attempt to roll golf balls into from about 10-12 feet away. Sounds easy, right? Think again. Corn hole is MUCH easier.
Two of the highlights of the trip were very simple.
First was a great new toy that we played with more than even the corn hole set. What was it? The Wave Runner Ball! This thing was awesome. It's just a simple ball about the size of a racquet ball that feels like mushy rubber. The crazy thing is that it's consistency allows it to do what other balls can't; it skips on top of the water. It was the coolest thing. You can throw it as if skipping a rock or even like throwing a baseball; just be warned that it bounces crazier than a a baseball off of the ground... especially when it hits waves! Try one out! Oh, the Wave Runner comes in at least two varieties: the beach ball and the pool ball. We tried both however the beach ball was the better of the two.
The second thing was hilarious. I don't even remember what we were doing; possibly a board game in the room. Anyway, something was said to which Alex in a long drawn out way said HOOOOLLLLYYY SHHHHH..... he held the SHHH for a while and the expression culminated with HOOOOLLLLYYY SHHHHHRIMP! We all looked at one another and tried to hold back but ultimately busted out laughing. It was hilarious.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Three Groups of People
Love them or hate them, we get labeled all the time. Which group are you in? Short or Tall? Skinny or Fat? Republican or Democrat? Smart or Athletic? Not all these distinctions are fair, nor are they all mutually exclusive of one another. Think about being pigeon holed as the dumb jock. Sure you can be smart and athletic, but quite often if your athletic, your intelligence is overlooked - hence the dumb jock label. Not to belittle this process of classification, because I'm about to do the same thing right here!
Over the past few weeks I've come the realization that you can categorize people into three distinct groups. Yes distinct is a strong word, because you will surely find yourself in different scenarios when you will find yourself classified in in one of the "other" two groups, but most of us will have the propensity to settle into one of these roles on a general basis.
So, what are the three types of people?
First are Actors. Not actors in the sense of the big screen, rather Actors as I am classifying them are the people that live out loud; they and their actions are out there for us all to see. They are making unprompted moves. These are typically the people who make things happen, for better or worse. Sometimes their actions or ideas are ground breaking; other times they are just the people leading your social group. You have to have actors to drive the action, come up with new ideas, and keep a fresh perspective. They are essential to moving forward and the growth of a group.
Second we have Reactors. There are tons of these people out there, and to be honest there needs to be. After an Actor makes a move, then what happens? Well of course a Reactor swoops in and does something in response. Does what, you may ask? It could be a number of things. Maybe it's a critique of the actions of the actor or maybe it's an improvement on that new idea.
How many times have you been sitting around discussing an idea and there are 100 improvements that build on that first notion? Reactors are of the utmost importance to the improvement of products and or situations and to the streamlining of processes. Put simply, they make the group better.
Any group, be it a company or even a social group, is best served with a combination of Actors and Reactors, and to be totally honest the best Actors tend to project themselves into the role of Reactors pretty well although they are more comfortable Acting.
The third and final group is the viewers. They may care about what's going on or they may not. Seeing what the Actors and Reactors are up to is enough for them and they just aren't getting involved. To just sit back and watch is plenty enough action for them, and on some occasions the choice to stop viewing altogether is their course of action.
So what type of person are you? I'm a huge believer in the idea that we live live in shades of gray. Because of this, I wouldn't be surprised if you read this and said, "what BS; I'm all 3!". To some extent that is true, but ask yourself two questions:
(1) Which of the three is your true nature?
and probably of more importance
(2) Which of the three would you like to be?
Think about those questions as you approach your day.
You may ask how I see myself? That's only fair, right? I don't mind answering my own question! Personally I feel that I'm inclined to Act. Others may see me differently, but I feel pretty confident in my categorization as an Actor for both my natural inclinations as well as my desired nature. If you don't agree, feel free to React to this post! haha!
Over the past few weeks I've come the realization that you can categorize people into three distinct groups. Yes distinct is a strong word, because you will surely find yourself in different scenarios when you will find yourself classified in in one of the "other" two groups, but most of us will have the propensity to settle into one of these roles on a general basis.
So, what are the three types of people?
First are Actors. Not actors in the sense of the big screen, rather Actors as I am classifying them are the people that live out loud; they and their actions are out there for us all to see. They are making unprompted moves. These are typically the people who make things happen, for better or worse. Sometimes their actions or ideas are ground breaking; other times they are just the people leading your social group. You have to have actors to drive the action, come up with new ideas, and keep a fresh perspective. They are essential to moving forward and the growth of a group.
Second we have Reactors. There are tons of these people out there, and to be honest there needs to be. After an Actor makes a move, then what happens? Well of course a Reactor swoops in and does something in response. Does what, you may ask? It could be a number of things. Maybe it's a critique of the actions of the actor or maybe it's an improvement on that new idea.
How many times have you been sitting around discussing an idea and there are 100 improvements that build on that first notion? Reactors are of the utmost importance to the improvement of products and or situations and to the streamlining of processes. Put simply, they make the group better.
Any group, be it a company or even a social group, is best served with a combination of Actors and Reactors, and to be totally honest the best Actors tend to project themselves into the role of Reactors pretty well although they are more comfortable Acting.
The third and final group is the viewers. They may care about what's going on or they may not. Seeing what the Actors and Reactors are up to is enough for them and they just aren't getting involved. To just sit back and watch is plenty enough action for them, and on some occasions the choice to stop viewing altogether is their course of action.
So what type of person are you? I'm a huge believer in the idea that we live live in shades of gray. Because of this, I wouldn't be surprised if you read this and said, "what BS; I'm all 3!". To some extent that is true, but ask yourself two questions:
(1) Which of the three is your true nature?
and probably of more importance
(2) Which of the three would you like to be?
Think about those questions as you approach your day.
You may ask how I see myself? That's only fair, right? I don't mind answering my own question! Personally I feel that I'm inclined to Act. Others may see me differently, but I feel pretty confident in my categorization as an Actor for both my natural inclinations as well as my desired nature. If you don't agree, feel free to React to this post! haha!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Mental Takes Over When Physical Fails
I'm no stranger to running. In the distant past, being high school, I was involved in Track and Field; in addition to throwing shotput and discuss I also ran the 4x400 and the 800 (half mile) and I wasn't to shabby I might add... but those days are long gone. Now I run for distance. Over the past few years I've ventured into some 5Ks and 10Ks and always enjoy them and even post on Facebook about how the races go.
Last year a friend of mine noticed my posts on running and laid down a challenge. I guess it was just more of a question, but my response made it feel like a challenge. She said, since we're both runners, why don't we pick out a marathon to do together. Not that we live near one another and can train, but just knowing that you're committing not only to yourself but also to someone else makes the commitment that much more solidified. After we came to an agreement that this would happen, I came to the realization that 26.2 miles is about 20 miles farther than any other run that I'd completed. haha. Seriously; it's easy to do that math but when you really ponder those numbers it's a bit sobering to think of what it will take to stretch that 6.2 of a 10K into a 26.2 of a marathon. Wow; I had much work to do.
Being that I like to be prepared, I figured instead of jumping straight to the full marathon I should probably take baby steps and do a half marathon first. Note that I said "I like to be prepared", not that "I always am prepared"; there's a big difference in those statements and one that would play out when race day final came along. Is this foreshadowing my intent to be prepared but ultimately not being ready. Haha; you bet it is.
Having decided to do a half marathon I quickly jumped to sign up for Kiawah since it's both close and a nice location. Unfortunately it was already full so I looked to my second choice and signed up for the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon. Actually paying the money was a second commitment; no turning back! The next step was the training routine. I won't bore you with the details, but I did take some time to research plans that already existed and used those to craft my own 24 week plan. It was laid out in Excel, I printed and hung it both at work and home. I didn't stick to it 100% in the early goings, but I was pretty close. Long runs were on Saturdays and just before Thanksgiving I put in my longest run ever: an 8 miler. I felt good having finished that and knew that before race day I would have not only put in a lot of miles but I would have also done a few runs that are even longer than the 13.1 required for race day... or so I thought.
Thanksgiving presented problems; kids were out, tons of food, and plenty of justifiable reasons to NOT put in my miles. That would not have been so bad had I jumped back in it after Thanksgiving, however with my schedule with the kids and work and my love for fatty foods (not to mention Christmas) I often found reasons to either not run or to just cut the longer runs off very short. I found myself in late January having slipped totally away from the running schedule all together and realized that I would not be "ready" for the race, but that I'd be as ready as possible. That being said, my longest run in weeks had been 4.5 miles... Wow; not even close to the needed 13.1 on race day.
The race was to be held on Feb 19th and on Feb 5th I committed to do at least 10 miles. I strapped on the GPS watch and started running, constantly looking down at the watch to see how far I'd been. In the interest of brevity, I'll tell you that my body wanted to stop at 7, but I pushed through mentally to finish the 10. I have completed it without walking. Although those last miles were quite slow, I knew that I could push another 3 miles out on race day. Over the next two weeks I had a few 2-3 mile runs and one 4.5 miler, but I was saving up the rest for race day.
We made race weekend a big weekend in Myrtle, but I didn't let that take me away from why I was there in the first place: to finish the race and push it as much as possible. I set a goal for myself to average 8:00 minute miles (which comes out to just under 1 hour and 45 minutes). It should be doable, considering that during my 10 miler I averaged 8:15 with hills and no competition. Myrtle Beach is flat, and there would be plenty of people to help push me. So what happened?
After hours of sleep, on race day I got out of bed at 5:00 to get ready to run. I caught the shuttle and the excitement was building. Tons of people, including two women using this race as their Olympic Trials qualifier, were ready and awaiting that gun shot to start the race. My iPod was loaded, my watch was on and ready to be started, and I was as ready as I could ever be... that is unless I had actually trained as intended! The gun fired and I took off like a bat out of hell. I didn't sprint, but plenty of people were pushing it so fell right in with them. It was interesting because I kept a balance of pushing and holding back enough to not burn out too quickly. The pace that kept for for the part of the race made me so happy. My watch tells me my mile splits for each mile and as those would pop up I was doing the math in my head as to how many extra minutes I had "in the bag" just in case I fell apart at the end. That way I'd know how slow I could go and still make my overall goal. I'll post my splits down below, but just notice that I kept up one hell of a pace for about 9 miles.
Between the 9th and 10th miles, as I knew it would happen, my body began to give out. I was ill-prepared. Oh shit; what now? What do you mean, "what now"? You push and push until you can't push anymore. I can't tell you that I kept the great pace, because in fact I did not, but I never walked, I kept pushing and I finished the race. It was amazing at how slow I was near the end and that was with pushing with all my heart and even becoming light headed as I started the 13th mile. I just knew how good I'd feel upon completion of the race and knowing that I pushed through mentally. Guess what? I was right. It was such a good feeling. Although my legs were about to collapse, my knees and feet hurt, and I was hydrating as fast as possible, I had such a feeling of contentment and achievement. It felt great and I fully intend to do another very soon.... before I move on to the 26.2!
During the two days since the race, I've been hobbling around with sore legs like a little old man, but in just 48 hours I'm already beginning to recuperate and I'm feeling pretty good. I can't wait to get back out and hit the pavement again.
Without further ado, check out my splits and get a good laugh as you see my slight decline in the first 3/4 of the race, followed by my rapid decline during that last 4 miles. haha. I get a kick out of it and will use that as motivation to do better next time!!!
Mile 1 - 7:00
Mile 2 - 6:55
Mile 3 - 7:00
Mile 4 - 7:15
Mile 5 - 7:10
Mile 6 - 7:22
Mile 7 - 7:31
Mile 8 - 7:34
Mile 9 - 7:55 ( the last mile under my goal pace)
Mile 10 - 8:17
Mile 11 - 8:44
Mile 12 - 9:04
Mile 13 - 9:38
Extra 0.1 - at an 8:01 pace.
After all was said and done: my official race time was 1:42:23, averaging 7:54/mile and I came in 270th out of 3115 people. I'm very happy and looking forward to the future!
Last year a friend of mine noticed my posts on running and laid down a challenge. I guess it was just more of a question, but my response made it feel like a challenge. She said, since we're both runners, why don't we pick out a marathon to do together. Not that we live near one another and can train, but just knowing that you're committing not only to yourself but also to someone else makes the commitment that much more solidified. After we came to an agreement that this would happen, I came to the realization that 26.2 miles is about 20 miles farther than any other run that I'd completed. haha. Seriously; it's easy to do that math but when you really ponder those numbers it's a bit sobering to think of what it will take to stretch that 6.2 of a 10K into a 26.2 of a marathon. Wow; I had much work to do.
Being that I like to be prepared, I figured instead of jumping straight to the full marathon I should probably take baby steps and do a half marathon first. Note that I said "I like to be prepared", not that "I always am prepared"; there's a big difference in those statements and one that would play out when race day final came along. Is this foreshadowing my intent to be prepared but ultimately not being ready. Haha; you bet it is.
Having decided to do a half marathon I quickly jumped to sign up for Kiawah since it's both close and a nice location. Unfortunately it was already full so I looked to my second choice and signed up for the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon. Actually paying the money was a second commitment; no turning back! The next step was the training routine. I won't bore you with the details, but I did take some time to research plans that already existed and used those to craft my own 24 week plan. It was laid out in Excel, I printed and hung it both at work and home. I didn't stick to it 100% in the early goings, but I was pretty close. Long runs were on Saturdays and just before Thanksgiving I put in my longest run ever: an 8 miler. I felt good having finished that and knew that before race day I would have not only put in a lot of miles but I would have also done a few runs that are even longer than the 13.1 required for race day... or so I thought.
Thanksgiving presented problems; kids were out, tons of food, and plenty of justifiable reasons to NOT put in my miles. That would not have been so bad had I jumped back in it after Thanksgiving, however with my schedule with the kids and work and my love for fatty foods (not to mention Christmas) I often found reasons to either not run or to just cut the longer runs off very short. I found myself in late January having slipped totally away from the running schedule all together and realized that I would not be "ready" for the race, but that I'd be as ready as possible. That being said, my longest run in weeks had been 4.5 miles... Wow; not even close to the needed 13.1 on race day.
The race was to be held on Feb 19th and on Feb 5th I committed to do at least 10 miles. I strapped on the GPS watch and started running, constantly looking down at the watch to see how far I'd been. In the interest of brevity, I'll tell you that my body wanted to stop at 7, but I pushed through mentally to finish the 10. I have completed it without walking. Although those last miles were quite slow, I knew that I could push another 3 miles out on race day. Over the next two weeks I had a few 2-3 mile runs and one 4.5 miler, but I was saving up the rest for race day.
We made race weekend a big weekend in Myrtle, but I didn't let that take me away from why I was there in the first place: to finish the race and push it as much as possible. I set a goal for myself to average 8:00 minute miles (which comes out to just under 1 hour and 45 minutes). It should be doable, considering that during my 10 miler I averaged 8:15 with hills and no competition. Myrtle Beach is flat, and there would be plenty of people to help push me. So what happened?
After hours of sleep, on race day I got out of bed at 5:00 to get ready to run. I caught the shuttle and the excitement was building. Tons of people, including two women using this race as their Olympic Trials qualifier, were ready and awaiting that gun shot to start the race. My iPod was loaded, my watch was on and ready to be started, and I was as ready as I could ever be... that is unless I had actually trained as intended! The gun fired and I took off like a bat out of hell. I didn't sprint, but plenty of people were pushing it so fell right in with them. It was interesting because I kept a balance of pushing and holding back enough to not burn out too quickly. The pace that kept for for the part of the race made me so happy. My watch tells me my mile splits for each mile and as those would pop up I was doing the math in my head as to how many extra minutes I had "in the bag" just in case I fell apart at the end. That way I'd know how slow I could go and still make my overall goal. I'll post my splits down below, but just notice that I kept up one hell of a pace for about 9 miles.
Between the 9th and 10th miles, as I knew it would happen, my body began to give out. I was ill-prepared. Oh shit; what now? What do you mean, "what now"? You push and push until you can't push anymore. I can't tell you that I kept the great pace, because in fact I did not, but I never walked, I kept pushing and I finished the race. It was amazing at how slow I was near the end and that was with pushing with all my heart and even becoming light headed as I started the 13th mile. I just knew how good I'd feel upon completion of the race and knowing that I pushed through mentally. Guess what? I was right. It was such a good feeling. Although my legs were about to collapse, my knees and feet hurt, and I was hydrating as fast as possible, I had such a feeling of contentment and achievement. It felt great and I fully intend to do another very soon.... before I move on to the 26.2!
During the two days since the race, I've been hobbling around with sore legs like a little old man, but in just 48 hours I'm already beginning to recuperate and I'm feeling pretty good. I can't wait to get back out and hit the pavement again.
Without further ado, check out my splits and get a good laugh as you see my slight decline in the first 3/4 of the race, followed by my rapid decline during that last 4 miles. haha. I get a kick out of it and will use that as motivation to do better next time!!!
Mile 1 - 7:00
Mile 2 - 6:55
Mile 3 - 7:00
Mile 4 - 7:15
Mile 5 - 7:10
Mile 6 - 7:22
Mile 7 - 7:31
Mile 8 - 7:34
Mile 9 - 7:55 ( the last mile under my goal pace)
Mile 10 - 8:17
Mile 11 - 8:44
Mile 12 - 9:04
Mile 13 - 9:38
Extra 0.1 - at an 8:01 pace.
After all was said and done: my official race time was 1:42:23, averaging 7:54/mile and I came in 270th out of 3115 people. I'm very happy and looking forward to the future!
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