Dont Stand So Close To Me

Sing that in you best Sting voice. Pretend you're Chris Katan or Chris Parnell acting out the song... Hilarious. "Dont stand so close to me". I was reminded of this topic yesterday during a discussion about accepted bathroom etiquette. It's kind of funny, the way we live by unspoken rules. You silently accept them and act upon them without realizing they even exist. That is, until someone breaks the rules. Then to you, the rules are so obvious that anyone should know them.

In a men's restroom, you typically have one section of toilets and one section or urinals. The toilets are private. The urinals....not so much. Due to the lack of privacy, one of these unspoken rules come into play. I'll use my office as an example. In the restroom nearest my department, there are 3 urinals. The first is short. The next two are regular height. When someone enters the empty room, they must make a decision are where to "go". He should (by rule) go to the farthest stall, leaving both empty stalls to his right. If he is short he may chose the rightmost stall leaving two empty stalls to the left. Under no circumstances should he take that center stall. Why you may ask? It's looking out for the next guy. If he walks in, he typically wants 1 degree of separation from you. If you are on the far right or far left, he leaves the center empty and takes the other side. You may look over at that second guy and give him the nod that says, "Saved that spot over there for you". He nods back in appreciation, no need to say anything.

Now consider the same situation. You're the second guy and someone is at the center stall. What the hell is he thinking? Does he think he is the king of the castle? He knows the rules and is blatantly breaking them. You have a choice. Act like everyone is in accordance with the rules and follow though, or chicken out and enter the nearest private stall. Choice B is often taken by those suffering from stage fright or those easily intimidated. Choice A is for those that are either un-intimidated or lack knowledge of the previously mentioned rule.
If you remain steadfast and want to teach the rule breaker a lesson, you can also break another rule by breaking into an in depth conversation with him whilst doing what you came to do. This makes many people very uncomfortable and in most cases you've turned the table on them. Good for you.

Now that you know the rules, go out and abide by them...and if given the opportunity, feel free to make someone you dont care for really uncomfortable.